SUSAN TIPPETT BRAITHWAITE

Have you ever gotten so pissed off with yourself that you were no longer angry, just disappointed? You know, parent-style-ee? If you’re anything like me, then it’s not a one-time thing.

At the back end of May (like the 30^th), I had to give myself one of those long lectures where you lay it all out. All your failings, the excuses, and basically all the bullshit you tell yourself to get out of doing what you have to do to achieve your goals.

See, I’ve done it so many times now that I know it by heart…

Time for Change

It was this knowing that really stopped me. I needed to find some way to get out of my own way. Something that wouldn’t allow time for perfectionism—my automatic go-to—and something that would remind me that I can do what I set my mind to. I needed a win and quick.

At the start of May, I shared with my newsletter subscribers some behind-the-scenes health issues (fuck ton of pain) that I’ve been dealing with. While dealing with the pain, I’d toyed about with an idea for a story, but it was so fresh that a whisper of air would have wiped it out.

My goal was to turn the fragment of an idea into a novella introduction to The Deniable Unit series. But, as the month wore on, I knew that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon…

The Super Secret (Idiotic) Idea

Right, you’ve got the backstory. A horrible, ridiculous eejit of an idea hit me. Hey, why not write the whole 30K word novella in June? Why is that such a stupid idea? I didn’t even know what the story was. All I knew was that two characters got stuck in a security lockdown in the Deniable Unit Headquarters in Dundee with an assault team out to get them. That was it. I had no names and no background information. Nothing.

Perfectionism, My Old Enemy

Oh, and though I love story structure and could go on about it ’til the cows come home… my perfectionism never lets me finish outlining. That was the real challenge. Well, there was another issue. I had a course for the first week of June which meant that I couldn’t even get to the outline until week two of June.

Promises

At some point in this whole self-lecture, I made myself a promise to do it (before looking at the logistics like a rational being) and an extra promise on top of that that I wouldn’t break it this time. I had to do it, or I’d never be able to trust myself again. So, on the 8^th of June, I got to outlining.

Writing the Novella

By the 15^th of June, I had an outline. It was rough, but it had everything it needed. Before I sat down to work, I grabbed my phone and recorded an Instagram Story (something I’d never done before) and stated that I was about to start writing my novella.

I Did It!

On the 30th of June, after ten writing days (I’m still reeling from this, to be honest), I’d written over 32K words and typed “THE END”. It was the first time that I didn’t allow myself to go back and rewrite as I went. Perfectionism had no place in getting the first draft completed.

Did I Fail to Mention How Stupid My Secret Goal Really Is?

I was a mess by the time I finished, and I’ve slowly been coming out of the stupor this past week. Fortunately, just in time to get the editing done. ‘Cause, see, the promise is way dumber than I’ve let on. It wasn’t just to get the story done. No, no. I have a very tight date to get it into the hands of my wonderfully supportive newsletter subscribers: the 3^rd of September.

Panic Stations!

Obviously, panic gripped me when I sat down to read the first draft the other day. How bad was it going to be? Was I going to cringe so much that I scrunched up so tight that I disappeared like a collapsing star?

I’d printed out the manuscript and bound it, and now there was nothing else I could do to avoid reading it. Fueled with coffee, I forced my arse into my chair and opened the manuscript and got down to the job of reading.

Initial Thoughts on the Novella

Huh. It didn’t suck.

I mean, there’s no doubt that it needs work. But there were no gaping plot holes. The main characters have clear-ish arcs. It made me laugh where I was supposed to. A few times, I stopped and asked, “I wrote this?” and I didn’t mean it because it was shite.

Now, the bits that need work, I knew about before I even wrote the first word. I’m terrible at adding descriptions, settings, etc., in the first draft.  I don’t see the world that way. I see people–how they react, speak, and move. I also need to deepen the point of view so that readers get to experience the story more fully. But these are all things that I’ll deal with—*checks calendar*… oh, fuck—this week ?

Long story short…

Help!

I made a promise that I can’t imagine how I’m going to keep, but keep it, I will. Expect to see more on the story, No Second Chances, in the coming weeks.

If you want to get a free copy of No Second Chances when it comes out in September (???), be sure to sign up for The Deniables Newsletter before the 31st of August 2024!

Making Good On Your Promises to Yourself

I hope this post inspires you to make stupid promises to yourself that will help you get closer to that scary goal in your life. What crazy goals or promises have you made to yourself? Share them in the comments!