SUSAN TIPPETT BRAITHWAITE

Today’s word is guisin. Nowadays, it means dressing up and doing the doors at Halloween. In Scotland, the kids–and sometimes teenagers–dress up and go around all the houses and entertain you for sweets and coins.

How it usually goes is once the guisers get to the door, they ask what it is you want as your entertainment (a trick or a treat). The trick in Scots–in this context–is a joke. So, be prepared for a million renditions of the dentist joke. And the treat is a song, a poem, a dance.

Not heard the dentist joke? Check it out at the end of the post. (Remember, you asked for it. ???? )

Back to the point. Guise means masquerade, to disguise. A guiser is someone who does those things. And for the purpose of this post, I’m using guisin to mean someone who is disguising who they really are. (This is how my family used the word–typically when shouting at politicians on the TV.)

Here’s my response to the prompt (taken from Running The Asset):

Trevor stappit oot o the lift intae the sicker bit o the entry. Gavan wis waitin on him. The man wis a assaill dug wi amaist nae sel maun whan hit cam tae bangstrie. Heez bleck shuit an tie makit him luik lik a buriar. Gien Gavan’s skeels, Trevor jaloused he wis.

Gavan convoyit him oot tae the bleck Mercedes Benz i the siker caur pairk, an heeld the door apen fir him, lik the chauffeur he wis guisin is.

And now in English.

Trevor stepped out of the lift into the secure area of the lobby. Gavan was waiting for him. The man was an attack dog with almost no self-control when it came to violence. His black suit and tie made him look like a funeral director. Given Gavan’s skills, Trevor supposed he was.

Gavan escorted him out to the black Mercedes Benz in the secure car park, and held the door open for him, like the chauffeur he was mascerading as.

A Man Goes to the Dentist Joke

If it doesn’t translate well, it’s time for me to ruin the joke by explaining it. You see, “Comfy?” sounds exactly the same as cum fae? which is Scots for where do you come from? And, Glesga is Scots for Glasgow.